Items to recall in the future:

leadership team meeting- talking through “worldview alignment project” Jobs in danger “see if you’re a good fit to work here”. The talk where we gave him the chance to walk it back, but it was double downed. Not R VS D but Left vs Right. Right is right. Open conversation but yeah still checking to see about fit.

Breakout session at camp. Doing what’s right vs doing what’s safe for my job, and the sadness that it wasn’t one in the same thing.

Coming back to trouble about my breakout.

My conversation with Jared to open the “get off my lawn” series. The fact that every single staff felt bad about the series, recommended against it, but -typical “This is where we are going.” Proud of my conversation with Jared and how we spoke and what we said. But…

The following week got taken off the sunday service- asked not to do I fully informed that it felt like the step one of being fired for not being lock-step, but still that was the call. “I can’t decide for MStar if we want a sunday service that stays surface level, ‘nice job scott’ etc, or if we want to really grapple with things as we work through them ourselves. but if the first, I was never the right fit, if the second, I’m still all in for it.’ After that statement, taken off the online service.

THEN have a conversation one on one with scott. He lets me know that it wasn’t personal, but right now he’s in “poppa bear mode, and he’s really defensive of his church right now.” That as we leave a christian-judeo america behind, we need to “close ranks and stop trying to appeal to unbelievers.” He then proceeds to somehow after all this, still shock me, by informing me that we need to “eliminate the infection of the idea that church should be a thing we invite the non-believers to” That churches can not sheppard their people, and speak in a way as to bring the non-believer to faith. To be fair, he still thinks we should share faith personally, just not as a church. Goes so far as to say he doesn’t think we should say things like “invite your friends to RIOT/church”

At this point, even if I don’t get fired, I have a hard time seeing a place for a guy like me- I speak for those that don’t think like lifelong christians. There’s no place for a guy like me, if our church doesn’t want to bring people to Jesus. If our goal is to close ranks, huddle off, and wait for the end of the world, then I’ve got nothing to do here. I’ll get fired, or get myself fired soon.

So now, here goes everything. Let’s see how God uses this all.