It’s valentines day, and for the first time in forever, I feel like I’ve got nothing to say. I’m wordless. Every emotion expressed, every heart beat explained. Between my recent trial with going silent, and just getting older, I think I look forward to being a more quiet man.
That said, life isn’t about learning that new thing, it’s about re-experiencing and re-learning those core basic truths that make life what it is. When it comes to my love, my bride, my all, my everything, there’s nothing new to write, nothing new to say- but I find it fun to say it all over again.
I knew from the moment we met you were the one for me. I knew because of your amazing looks, drawing me in from across a room. But then you spoke, and all hopes of it being just a looks-based infatuation fell by the wayside. You’re funny, you’re insightful- you see people not as they present themselves, but as they really are. You are so much, but what I’m enjoying during this season is the truth that neither of us are remotely the people who got married so long ago. We’ve been together now for longer than we’d ever lived apart, and I’ve enjoyed so much watching you morph and change through the years in all the best ways. I would have had the easiest time ever just committing to love you as you were, forever- if you’d just have stayed the same as the 15 year old lanky, coke-bottle glasses girl I fell in love with, I could have loved you for the rest of my life with no struggle at all.
Instead, you took my favorite person of all time, and somehow made yourself even more exactly who I was made to be with. You grew in beauty and in kindness, sympathy, in your nurturing nature, you only ever added how many people you could love so well. You got funnier (Thank God!). You got hotter, not that I thought that was possible. Then when I felt the game was over, like we’d beat the game and gotten new high scores and there was nothing left to do, you crapped out the most perfect little turd of a baby that I could ever have dreamed of. Now, I get to watch you become what she needs too- as if I hadn’t demanded so much of your self-sacrifice, humility, love, and patience, here’s this little person drawing more and more from you!
You’ve been an amazing wife for as long as I can recall (that’s about two weeks, so it’s not saying much) :). But now I get to see you be an amazing mom and wife at the same time. I get to have a front row ticket to you giving of yourself day in and day out- tired or not, you pour out all you have for me and Maddie, and you deserve so much more than a date night, a gift, or some kind words. Had we the money, I’d buy you the world. Had we the time, I’d rub your back till our end and it still wouldn’t be enough. Had I the words I’d write till my fingers bled, but a million sonnets would only scrape the surface of my love for you.
So instead, I’ll just do what I always do- live to serve you. Day by day I’ll be praying that my actions, my words, my thoughts- would they all tell you how much I love you. How thankful I am for you, and how I so truly love racing through this amazing and meaningful life with you. You’re my co-adventurer, and here’s to many more with you my love.