Posts by Jim Smith

The Great Unknown

So it’s no longer a hypothetical- I’ve got an offer for an 80k a year job, with easy growth where it’d be shocking not to make 100+ within a year or so. I’d be doing IT, managing my own department, and helping people in a variety of ways within tech. But with the backing of a company so I’m not taking on the risk myself. And I’m paralyzed. I don’t want to be my dad. Working so much, so hard,…

It’s not about me

This weekend is Easter Sunday. As a guy who works at a church, that’s one of the busy seasons. One of the “all hands on deck” kind of moments. I hate about myself that I have a capacity to make things about myself. I over-think, over-analyze how I’m doing, what I’m doing- not that I think I’m what’s important in the grand scheme of things, but rather I am the only thing that I control. So I overthink my role…

Day of the Dead

For a large chunk of my life, January 2 was a holiday in my house. A day of solitude, reflection, pondering. I considered it akin to the whipping-boy of old- that if I could just get out all my self loathing, depression, inner sadness for one day, maybe the next I could put back on the game face I use for my daily life. I would allow myself one full day to wallow in anything I felt deserved it. Cry,…

In Salem as it is in heaven…

I feel like there’s a sea of change coming for what christianity looks like in america. Like so many times before, we sit on a generational cusp, where the older and younger generations aren’t just different, but so supremely different that I see change being the only way forward for the church. 40% of people church attenders under the age of 40 have stopped attending in the last year. That’s not a seasonal or cyclical pattern, that’s a mass exodus.…

RIOT Message March 2022

Address the camera on a stand I’ve got set up in the front row for my boys. In case you can’t tell from my face, I’m old. I grew up in a very different time and place. So help me understand. Do high schoolers still actually get in fistfights? Or do you just harass each other online and call that bullying? Ok, let me give you a glimpse into the kid Jim Smith- so we moved at the end of…

Valentines Day 2022

It’s valentines day, and for the first time in forever, I feel like I’ve got nothing to say. I’m wordless. Every emotion expressed, every heart beat explained. Between my recent trial with going silent, and just getting older, I think I look forward to being a more quiet man. That said, life isn’t about learning that new thing, it’s about re-experiencing and re-learning those core basic truths that make life what it is. When it comes to my love, my…

Church

I’ve spent a lot of time lately, asking myself what I think the church should be VS what it is. Dreaming of not the modern American church, with all of its geopolitical Christianity, but rather, the simple, stripped down faith that I long for. And how do those things “fit” in an already existing church in modern america? I dream of a church where choices are made not based on what groups give, and whether or not it impacts attendance.…

Trust

I’ve spent a lot of time praying lately, but the same few things on my heart on repeat to God. I’m not flowery in wording, not excessive in time, just super often repeated the same things I’m asking God to do in and around me. That as my family faces so many unknowns, and seemingly the next couple years could take us in very divergent paths, would our hearts remain His, would we love God with all we’ve got and…

Bring my vision upwards

I’ve had a struggle lately at work. Been wrapped up in it, to the detriment of my work, if I’m being real. I’ve delved into all the nuance of why I’m concerned about the future of our church, and all the reasons that our present sins might veer us enough off course to not exist in a few years. I wrestle with the knowledge that I see certain things like rampant pride, idolatry, and a failure to carry out the…

Sitting on the edge

There are times in life where you know you’re in the good ole days. Then there are times when you know you’re sitting on the raggedy edge, one push away from major change, unsure if that change will be good or bad. These last few years, I’ve often commented to my wife that we’d look back later on this as a really stable and happy time- we’re in a good spot in our marriage, we have a safe, healthy, and…

Steve

I’m not a good friend to anyone. I have friends, people I value, respect, enjoy, and desire to be around more. But I’m terrible at follow through, and connecting with people when I do think deep down, they don’t want to be around me. So I’m never the one to post on social media about how close I was with someone- because someone else is always infinitely closer. I’m an acquaintance for many, close friend to none. But that doesn’t…

Good Friday Message

This was a very short sermon I gave for good friday on MStar.live 2021 Today is a very special day in Christian circles. I know easter is coming, and man are we excited to talk about that with you on sunday. But really, for me, today means so much, that I couldn’t just let it pass and not chat with you about it. Right now, from 6-8 at our church, we do a somber open house- people come in, take…