The Worst Dream…

Man, I just woke up from the worst dream. I felt like it lasted years, and like most events, it’s not even believable, and sounds so zany and stupid when I say it out loud.

In it, America elected a reality TV star as president. They were all so mad a black guy had been president that they elected Donald Trump- a guy with a laundry list of sexual assaults under his belt, and zero presidential qualifications. Now I know this part sounds even dumber, but it wasn’t democrats…. This supposedly ultra wealthy new york elitist ran as a republican man of the people, and they bought it.

That part was dumb enough, but it really was less about who was president but what happened while he was-

I found out many of my friends, family and loved ones were either racist, or OK with racism.

I found out many of my friends, family and loved ones were either sexist, or OK with sexism.

I found out many of my friends, family and loved ones didn’t mean any of the attacks they used against Obama, if it was applied to a white guy.

I found out many of my friends, family and loved ones were so logically inconsistent that the only explanation the world could use was “cult-like behavior.”

I found out many of my friends, family and loved ones bought into conspiracy theories and bullcrap without a moments hesitation.

I found out many of my friends, family and loved ones who weren’t among those who accepted all this crap rejected Christianity in waves- not wanting to be a part of a religion that increasingly seems to hate everything and everyone.

I shook my head in rage and anger and sadness because I couldn’t fault them for wanting nothing to do with Jesus, if the representation of Him by churches was at all correct. Mainstream beloved Christian leaders telling women to “go home and shut up.” Local Christian friends posting online that black people were inherintly more violent and thus brute force from cops wasn’t disproportional, but proper for dealing with “animals of a more base nature.” (I wish I was making this up).

By the end, it just kept getting more and more zany- Los Angeles was lifting smog creation measures so crematoriums could run round the clock- the backload of bodies from a global pandemic mismanaged was literally blotting out the sky.

Pro-Trump mobs rejected the fact that their president had never polled over 50% in any time in his presidency, and lost the election- and they started an armed rebellion against the govt, even invading the capitol building with guns, and with makeshift gallows set up on the front lawn.

Really, as I sit here, I meant to write a something funny about these last four years, put a satire spin on it. But really, I’m spent. I still love Jesus, with all I am. The savior represented on the pages of scripture is my hope, my only hope. But I genuinely feel like increasingly, churches have no part in that person. We twist His words to serve our agenda, use a God who commanded love as a requirement as justification for hatred and evil. Truly, my faith is stronger than it’s ever been and I’m more sure than ever that Jesus is the only way. But my belief that churches are a necessary evil is largely clouded by now thinking they may be just evil. Our part in these last 4 years hasn’t been ignorant, but willful. Joyful, and proud of our “accomplishment”

What the American church needs now is wholesale repentance. Masses of people falling on our face, apologizing to God and the people around us for calling one guy an antichrist because we disagreed with him, but when a man comes along who stands against all that Jesus stood for-

saying he never repented for anything because he’s never been wrong on anything.

Making fun of the handicapped

Making fun of the poor

Insulting the weak

Insulting the foreigner

Insulting women

Insulting his enemies

and so many more, it drives me to sadness.

When that guy came along, we bowed the knee, we swore allegiance, and we supported that cause.

I spent 8 years hearing Christians say Obama wasn’t “presidential” without quite being able to put their finger on it. Then God used Trump to strip away every quality they claimed to hate, and leave the only “bad” thing that Trump wasn’t that Obama was, was black.

Jesus I’m sorry. I’ve helped and propagated systems of hate. I’ve allowed or encouraged people in my life to feel safe or comfortable in evil. I’ve failed to lead well. A real spiritual leader would have been able to convey to my friends, family and loved ones that YOU and only YOU are the one to put our hope and trust in. Real leader would have more emphatically stood against hatred. Would have called out the evil being called good in our midst. Instead I have kept my head down to whatever extent I think I am capable. I have been respectful, and shown deference and honor where it was not due. God, forgive me. God, forgive us. We have decades of effort to regain ground ahead of us, if we ever want the world again to believe a word we say about you.